


near to love (as love will ever be)

by sabinelagrande



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Community: kink_bingo, F/M, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-19
Updated: 2012-08-19
Packaged: 2017-11-12 11:55:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/490636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabinelagrande/pseuds/sabinelagrande
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Proof that Tony Stark has a heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	near to love (as love will ever be)

Tony's always had mixed feelings about the reactor in his chest. It saved him from dying, it almost killed him, it's a reminder, it never goes away. It's a vital part of everything that he does, the reason he's been able to reach new heights, do things that he- well, he knew they were possible, but he never would have done them before. It doesn't stop at the suit, extending outwards into everything, mundane to grandiose, selfless to the very most selfish things he ever does. No arc reactor without Tony, no Tony without arc reactor, all a big circle, all very zen when he thinks about it.

There are only three people he's ever trusted enough to touch it, Pepper, Rhodey, and Yinsen, and while he tries not to think about Obadiah at all, he tries especially hard not to think about the worst part of his betrayal, the time he ripped out Tony's heart.

Somehow, it always seems to hurt right in the middle of his chest when he thinks about it.

He thinks about the time with Pepper the most, back when he hadn't streamlined the process to the point it is now, when he couldn't just snap it in and out at a moment's notice. He's never done anything so intimate with anyone in his entire life, and he doubts he ever will again. He's as adventurous as the next guy, usually a lot more, so he's had things, y'know, inserted, but this was nothing like that at all. Pepper put her whole hand inside of him, quite literally into his heart. Sometimes she's the only one who even believes that he has one, metaphorically and literally speaking, even though he's proven to her time and time again that he doesn't, whether he meant to or not. And yeah, she was hesitant, and except for the fact that she almost killed him there for a minute, it was kind of funny, but that didn't lessen it, not at all, the care and the closeness, the bond between them.

He still thinks about it later, years later, watching her sleep beside him, lax and calm, snoring softly the way she refuses to believe she does. He kisses her neck, and she sighs, moving back against him, tighter against his body. She's going to have an imprint of the reactor on her back in the morning, but they've both gotten used to it, his mark on her pale skin. He's definitely never done that one to anyone else, let them have something like that from him so casually, as a matter of course; he didn't even do relationships before her, and here she is, asleep in his arms, tucked right up against the most important part of him, the place where she could do him the most damage.

It's so strange, the fact that he trusts her implicitly not to.

He wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her even closer, close enough that he can smell her hair, the soft apple scent of her shampoo mixed up with the smell that's just Pepper, warm and inviting and like the home he never had, and he doesn't even care if that sounds trite, because that's the way it is.

That's the way it'll always be, right until his heart gives up.


End file.
